Have you ever been in love to the point that you’d just surrender everything to be with this one person for the rest of your life?..

I am, and it kills me everyday that I am apart from the love of my life..

However.. I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is “up”..

But no matter how I try to fish for it, nothing is surfacing and I’m terribly afraid that I’m just placing doubt in my relationship..

And I need to stop before it effect my relationship cause this is all a matter of trust..
If i truly trust my boyfriend to make the best decisions not only for our relationship but for himself also, then why am I so concerned about it failing in the fidelity department?

Because I’m afraid that actions that I have made in the pass will haunt me with the one thing I fear most.. And that is losing him to someone who doesn’t deserve him.

I use to say I don’t deserve Raymond, that I’m not good enough, and also that is so high above me..
But now, I’m gonna believe in myself and my relationship more.
I’m gonna appreciate him and our relationship more.
We deserve each other, despite everything we’ve ever gone through, we deserve each other.

The type of memories him and I have are irreplaceable..

I may not be in the same path or field that he is in, in his life, but this isn’t a matter of compatibility nor is it based on public opinion..
This is about us, and I have seemed to lost sight of that while tryna keep grips of my relationship..

I don’t give him the credit that he honestly deserve because of my insecurities..
But I’m gonna throw all that through the window and be a better lover..

Not just better for him, but better for me also.
I need to just release all the negativity I once had and enjoy my relationship rather than tryna see how tightly I can hold him to make it last.

If I just enjoy my soulmate.. The time won’t matter.

I love you RDME.. ♥