Better Days.. :)

Pink Tiger Lily

Do you know what this flower is?..

A Tiger Lily..

This is most definitely my favorite flower and it has always been.

Whenever I visualize a tiger lily, no matter the colour, I can’t help but to smile and just be happy. They are so majestic, unconventional and they carry a rare beauty. Who would thing a flower with ‘black heads’ ; lol,  would be considered beautiful..

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and so far, nothing has gotten rid of that smile. I found out that I was accepted into university; which my boyfriend pushed me to do thank god, and all the anxiety and pain I was feeling yesterday just melted away last night. I cannot remember the last time I had been so happy to spend time with my boyfriend.

Not to say I’m not happy when I see him, but I was happy for the fact that despite all the anger and hurt I was going through, his positivity and commitment to our relationship was definitely shining through.

I don’t think that we are not still under the radar, however, since the both of us are willing to work through all the rain and fog that may pass our way, that we will be okay… I will be okay 😀

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Declaration

Have you ever been in love to the point that you’d just surrender everything to be with this one person for the rest of your life?..

I am, and it kills me everyday that I am apart from the love of my life..

However.. I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is “up”..

But no matter how I try to fish for it, nothing is surfacing and I’m terribly afraid that I’m just placing doubt in my relationship..

And I need to stop before it effect my relationship cause this is all a matter of trust..
If i truly trust my boyfriend to make the best decisions not only for our relationship but for himself also, then why am I so concerned about it failing in the fidelity department?

Because I’m afraid that actions that I have made in the pass will haunt me with the one thing I fear most.. And that is losing him to someone who doesn’t deserve him.

I use to say I don’t deserve Raymond, that I’m not good enough, and also that is so high above me..
But now, I’m gonna believe in myself and my relationship more.
I’m gonna appreciate him and our relationship more.
We deserve each other, despite everything we’ve ever gone through, we deserve each other.

The type of memories him and I have are irreplaceable..

I may not be in the same path or field that he is in, in his life, but this isn’t a matter of compatibility nor is it based on public opinion..
This is about us, and I have seemed to lost sight of that while tryna keep grips of my relationship..

I don’t give him the credit that he honestly deserve because of my insecurities..
But I’m gonna throw all that through the window and be a better lover..

Not just better for him, but better for me also.
I need to just release all the negativity I once had and enjoy my relationship rather than tryna see how tightly I can hold him to make it last.

If I just enjoy my soulmate.. The time won’t matter.

I love you RDME.. ♥